Us humans are incredibly adaptable, but inevitably operating in ‘survival mode’ takes its toll on our health and well being. Recently we’ve heard about the stories of medical workers who’ve been stretched to their absolute limit and beyond while caring for a tsunami of desperately ill patients globally. Something has to give. Survival mode is not supposed to be our way of life. Refugees, homeless persons and persecuted people groups wouldn’t disagree. I don’t think I’m very different from every other person when I say that getting my life ‘sorted’ takes a lot of

1. Energy
2. Time
3. Effort
4. Practice
5. Discipline
6. Intentionality
7. Reflection 
8. Other stuff I haven’t put my finger on yet but I’m sure exists

So if, like me, you’re feeling a bit exhausted at times right now, you’re not alone! The emotional payload we need to process is ginormous. 

My father lived through WW2. He learned from a young age to live in survival mode. He tried to address his anxiety by controlling everything, including me. Life felt regimental and I rebelled against routines. Unfortunately [for me] routines and self-discipline are both very helpful for getting life ‘sorted’. There’s always the possibility that the day won’t end up turning out like we expected it to,  but there has to be a way to become more grounded, more resilient. So that, no matter what life throws at us, we have the tools [and the ability to use them] to not just survive, but to thrive. 

So I got to thinking, what do I need in any one particular day [week]? And how can I fit these into my day [week]? – a bit like puzzle pieces – so that I feel more wholly alive; emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, relationally etc. – you get the idea. Another way of looking at it was; what can’t I live each day or week without if I want to thrive, despite what my day might throw at me? 

So far I’ve identified the following:

• Meditation/prayer/mindfulness – great to start the day!
• Thankfulness/gratitude 
• Physical exercise
• Work – 5 or 6 days max – both paid and unpaid [eg. housework] [the work piece is often too large!]
• Relationships  – time to connect
• Fun – games/laughter
• Creative space  – both dreaming and creating
• Time to disconnect and rest 

Your puzzle pieces might be different, or a different version of these. What’s awesome about naming what we need to thrive is that we give ourselves permission to put them into our daily calendar. Various aspects of our day can be larger or smaller in different seasons. But whatever you consider work – whether it’s cooking, cleaning, caring for small children, being a CEO or a personal secretary – it needs to be limited so that the other needs we have as humans can be met. You might be thinking that right now is not the time to do this. A friend of mine said recently that the opposite is true – right now, when life is at its most challenging or our finances are most stretched – this is the best time to take stock of where things are at. Then we know that things can only get better and we can begin to build our most resilient lives. 

What I need to do next is to decide how to fit those pieces into my days [and week] so that my life is nourished and grows in a positive direction. There are some things I need to do every day, and at least one day of the week I need to intentionally build in times for rest and have a break from all kinds of work. 

Yep – there are times that Netflix binges rob me of valuable sleep. It’s a vicious circle as they say. 

“Chronically stressed humans find it difficult to resist temptation” 

The Five Minute Journal, p 13.

Jesus invited people who were weary and carrying around heavy burdens to come and learn from him how to navigate living their best lives. He said he would be gentle in teaching us and give us rest for our souls. He used the picture of two oxen of different ages yoked together as they ploughed the field; the older wiser oxen knew how to pace himself. Because the younger, less experienced animal was joined to the older one it would learn how to walk calmly and consistently to get the job done that day. If left to do the job alone it would rush ahead and tire itself out or go off on a tangent and muck up the rows. The work is still there to be done every day, and there are occasionally harder obstacles [like huge rocks in the ground] to navigate but there’s a way of going about it that is helpful. This is what I need! I personally find the wise voice of Jesus’ teachings joining me in my life helps me immensely! It’s about pacing ourselves. 

Humans find purpose in work but we also need to sleep every night and rest from our work at least one day in seven. It’s this natural rhythm that serves us to live our best lives. Good old R and R; rest and re-creation, energises us and allows us to hit the re-set button to enter another week of work. This principle is articulated in the bible and also in the saying “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy”. 

I might not have a larger piece of creative space or rest every day but I can intentionally set aside one day a week to have larger pieces of those things I need to have in my life to thrive. This takes planning to ensure that there is minimal housework or unpaid work that will rob me of my rest.

I might prefer to have larger slabs of time than are physically possible in this season of my life for some of my needs but the best I can do is to at least make time for a smaller piece to fit into my day. Even five minutes in the morning and at night for reflection can make a huge difference in the way I approach the day. Rhythm and perspective are both gifts we need to gain insight into who we are and who we want to become and even practice the skills we need to get there. And if a couple of days have provided problems to solve or been particularly draining then at least I can acknowledge them and look forward to the day I have set aside for rest. 

Some days I might need to swap some of the pieces around to provide for a re-set. The housework will always be there but maybe right now I need some peace and quiet or an early night. Some things are important every day regardless. I find I need my prayer time every morning. I can still survive if I don’t get it but I thrive if I do. I can’t cut corners too often with physio exercises or I suffer the pain. What I eat obviously effects how well my body, brain and emotions function. There are natural limits in this human being and doing. I share these musings in order that they might provoke helpful thinking and action for you also to take steps to go beyond survival mode towards living a more grounded and meaningful life. If you’ve enjoyed this blog scroll down [or across] to hit up the subscribe button. Comments are also very welcome – we are all in this life journey together and can learn from each other.